By: John The Violator These are the transcprits 2 phone calls made right before Owen Wilson was hospitalized for attempting suicide. Owen’s Call to 911: 911: 9-1-1 Emergency, can I help you. OW: Wow, uuhhhm, wow. I think I just tried to kill myself. 911: Holy $hi^, is this Ben Stiller? OW: Uhmmm, wow, [...]
Bill and Susan Eckman
I recently ran across an article in Newsweek written about American Tourists that have been held captive in foreign prisons. I normally get a kick out of these stories because in my opinion you have to be a complete douche bag to vacation in the Middle East let alone vacation in the Middle East while [...]
Top 10 Things That We Would Love to Put in President George W. Bush’s Ass!
By: John The Violator Featuting Mr. Stunt Fingerz 10. A pineapple 9. Our Fists (All 4 at one time) 8. A Steve Largent Bobblehead Doll 7. A Volvo 240 DL 6. His own administration’s Domestic Spying Program 5. Dick Cheney’s pacemaker 4. Condi Rice’s “Caveman-esque” forehead 3. The entire 1972 USA Olympic Swim Team, including Mark Spitz and [...]
Fuck Blockbuster Part Deux
By: John The Violator Dear Blockbuster: I thought we were cool again. I accepted the fact that I was going to be forced in to purchasing ”The Farce of the Penguins” from you. My money must have been good because I know that the check that I wrote you posted to my account. I have just one question for you…. ”What in the fuck [...]
