Bill and Susan Eckman

I recently ran across an article in Newsweek written about American Tourists that have been held captive in foreign prisons.  I normally get a kick out of these stories because in my opinion you have to be a complete douche bag to vacation in the Middle East let alone vacation in the Middle East while sporting an American Flag Fanny Pack. 

 Of course there are exceptions to every rule, and Bill and Susan Eckman are my exception.  You see, Bill was sent to Beirut as part of a special task force whose main objective was to rescue 28 American citizens that were taken hostage while they were on board a cruise ship in the Atlantic Ocean.  I know what you are thinking and it does sound a lot like 1986 hit “Delta Force” starring Chuck Norris and Lee Marvin, but you are wrong.  

 Any who; while Bill was in Beirut trying to rescue these hostages the American Convoy that he was a part of accidentally left him behind.  Bill’s task force was able to rescue the hostages, but they didn’t realize that Bill was missing from the group until everybody was back on American soil. 

 Susan begged the government to send out another expedition to try to locate and rescue her husband, but her begging and pleading fell on deaf ears.  To show her love for her husband and the country that abandoned him, she decided to take matters into her own hands.  Long story short; Susan hired a group of Cuban engineers to develop and construct her an amphibious 1973 Cadillac Coupe de Ville in which she would travel to Beirut to save her husband. 

 She successfully made it to Beirut and was able to locate her missing husband.  Bill and Susan were attempting their escape from Beirut when the water pump on the Caddy malfunctioned.  Of course as some of you may know it is nearly impossible to find a water pump for a 1973 Cadillac Coupe de Ville when you are stranded in Lebanon (it would be like trying to find wheel bearings for a 1993 Volvo 240 DL in Japan).

 Bill and Sue were captured by militants and are being held hostage in Beirut for a reasonable ransom.  Since the United States government already blew their Beirut Travel Budget trying to rescue the first group of hostages they are unwilling to pay to return Bill and Susan Eckman.  This is where you fit in.  For the small price of $14.99 you can bring Bill and Sue home.  I will be selling these T-Shirts the proceeds from which will be directly deposited into the FREE Bill And Susan Eckman fund.

 This is a picture of the shirt that I will be selling.  It comes in sizes Small – XXXL

Please mail checks or money orders sorry no cash   to:

FREE BASE

c/o John The Violator

2889 Stewart Ave.

St. Paul, MN 55116

2 Comments

Comments RSS TrackBack Identifier URI