By: John The Violator
10) His jingles aren’t really jingles, but merely the same phrase repeated over and over again in increasing tempo.
9) It’s the Late Show and he is wearing sun glasses, who does he think he is Corey Hart?
8) He hosted a show on VH1 which had a celebrity host by the name of Kevin Bacon, can you say 1 degree of shittiness?
7) No original material. Anybody can play poppy watered down versions of old Beach Boys songs.
6) The way he keeps his left hand raised in the air makes him look more like a bull rider in the gay rodeo then a keyboardist.
5) The price of talcum powder has went up 25 cents a gram since Shaffer joined the Late Show in 1982, the reflection of studio lighting off of his bald shiny head is the #1 reason for the price increase.
4) Kevin Eubanks the leader of the Tonight Show Band makes Paul Shaffer look like Ray Stevens.
3) Gives “Shit eating grin” a bad name.
2) He’s Canadian!*
1) Wears so much self tanner, my TV screen is permanently stained orange.
*Just kidding, I love you Canada.